The Best {Actual} Headlines

–Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

–Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

–Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

–Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

–Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

–Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

–Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

–Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

–Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

–Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

–War Dims Hope for Peace

–If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

–Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

–Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

–Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

–Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

–New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

–Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

–Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

–Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

–New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

–Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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