Music, Dance, Laughter, Humor & Joy

Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's no more music in them.
– Louis Armstrong

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
– Langston Hughes

The earth laughs in flowers.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
writer and philosopher
(1803-1882)

After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
– Aldous Huxley
(1894-1963)

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
US Supreme Court Justice
(1841-1935)

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
– Victor Borge

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
– Frederick Nietzsche

To be perpetually talking sense runs out the mind, as perpetually ploughing and taking crops runs out the land. The mind must be manured, and nonsense is very good for the purpose.
– James Boswell

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise.
– William Blake

The music that can deepest reach,
And cure all ill, is cordial speech.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I call architecture frozen music.
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
(1749-1832)

We rarely hear the inward music,but we're all dancing to it nevertheless.
– Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
– George Bernard Shaw
writer, Nobel laureate
(1856-1950)

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
– Berthold Auerbach
German novelist
(1812-1882)

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and
refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy,
not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart;
to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions,
hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the common–this is my symphony.
– William Henry Channing
clergyman, reformer
(1810-1884)

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
– Maya Angelou
poet
(1928- )

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.
– John Keats
poet
(1795-1821)

The person who laughs at himself will never cease to be amused.
– unknown

Laughter is inner jogging.
– Norman Cousins
editor and author
(1915-1990)

In the depth of my soul there is a wordless song.
– Kahlil Gibran

Those who wish to sing always find a song.
– Swedish proverb

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
– Kin Hubbard

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living,
It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
– Dr. Seuss

The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
– unknown

He who sings scares away his woes.
– Miguel de Cervantes
novelist
(1547-1616)

The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes — ah, that is where the art resides.
– Artur Schnabel, pianist
(1882-1951)

HUMOR

POLITICAL HUMOR

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
– Carl Gustav Jung
(1875-1961)

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
– Fred Allen

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. . . and I also know that I'm not blonde.
– Dolly Parton

We have deep depth.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

It ain't over till it's over. (attributed)
– Yogi Berra

To me old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
– Bernard Mannes Baruch
quoted in Newsweek
(on his 85th birthday)

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
– Frank Lloyd Wright
(1868-1959)

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.
– Walter Bagehot

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
– Dave Berry

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
– unknown

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.
– Sam Houston

She's okay, if you like talent.
– Rosalind Russell

The t is silent, as in Harlow.
– Margo Asquith

There must be more to life than having everything.
– Maurice Sendak

I've always wanted to be somebody, but now I see I should have been more specific.
– Jane Wagner

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work … I want to achieve it through not dying.
– Woody Allen

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
– Mary Feldman

That's what show business is for – to prove that it's not what you are that counts, it's what they think you are.
– Andy Warhol

I refuse to be intimidated by reality any more. After all, what is reality anyway? Nothin' but a collective hunch. . . I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
– Jane Wagner

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
– Fran Lebowitz

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
– unknown

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
– Oscar Wilde

The most important thing I have learned over the years is the difference
between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously.
The first is imperative, and the second disastrous.
– Margaret Fontey

Sticking Around

Today is only the second day of summer,
And already I am a Humid-Being.
My clothes are sticking to me, and I am sticking to my clothes,
And my clothes and I are both sticking to the seats and grass,
And just about everything is sticking to everything else,
Because the summer season is finally here again.
Well, I guess I better be sticking a popsicle in my mouth
And then sticking myself into a pool.
Aaaahhhhhh…
Summer's sticking around for a few months, and that's okay!
– Mattie J.T. Stepanek
(1990-2004)

Flattery won't hurt you if you don't swallow it.
– Kin Hubbard
humorist
(1868-1930)

Reading test

Aoccdrnig to rsrceeah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Petrty amzanig, huh?

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
– Rita Rudner
comedienne
(1955- )

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
– Marshall McLuhan
cultural historian and communications theorist
(1911-1980)

A successful man is one who makes more money than a wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner
actress
(1921-1995)

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
– unknown

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
– Jay Leno

Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste.
 – Arnold Bennett
in Evening Standard

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
 – Oscar Levant
composer
(1906-1972)

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
 – Steven Wright
comedian
(1955)

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
 – Kin Hubbard

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
 – Kin Hubbard

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
 – Abraham Lincoln

When you enjoy loving your neighbor it ceases to be a virtue.
 – Kahlil Gibran
mystic, poet, and artist
(1883-1931)

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 – unknown

crapulent (KRAP-yuh-luhnt) adjective

— Sick from excessive drinking or eating.

[From Late Latin crapulentus (very drunk), from Latin crapula (drunkenness),from Greek kraipal (hangover, drunkenness).]

"A doctor examining one of his more crapulent patients said to him,'Your body is a temple and your congregation is too large.'" Dale Turner; Guarding Our Health Lets Us Better Serve in Role God Intended; The Seattle Times; Apr 26, 2003.
 – From: Wordsmith
www.wordsmith.org

Some people think they are worth a lot of money just because they have it.
 – Fannie Hurst
 writer
(1889-1968)

Everything is for the eye these days – TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.
 – Fred Allen

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.Then I realized who was telling me this.
 – Emo Phillips
comedian, actor
(1956)

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
 – Ogden Nash
 author
(1902-1971)

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
 – Spanish proverb

Weather
People, freezing, long to burn up.
Burning up, they long to freeze.
No wonder weather's temperamental.
People are so hard to please.
 – unknown

It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.
 – Elinor Goulding Smith
(1917-1978)

You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moments peace.
 – Jill Eikenberry
American actress
(1947- )

I know how to do anything—I'm a Mom.
 – Roseanne Barr
American actress and comedian
(1952)

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
 – Calvin Trillin, writer (1935)

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
 – Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer
(1912-1977)

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.
– Stephen Leacock, economist and
humorist (1869-1944)

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.
 – Hank Ketcham, comic artist
(1920-2001)

Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal that has the true religion — several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
 – Mark Twain, author and humorist
(1835-1910)

Life is all about ass;
You're either covering it,
Laughing it off,
Kicking it,
Kissing it,
Busting it,
Trying to get a piece of it
Behaving like one,
Or you live with one!!!

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