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President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education – anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda, and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out. \n\tAfter two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. \t Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. \t A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. \n\tKITTENS<\/strong><\/p>\n \tGeorge Bush, taking a stroll with a senior member of Congress meets a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it. Curious, he says to the girl; "What's in the basket?". She replies; "New baby kittens" and opens the basket to show him." How nice" said Bush. " What kind are they?". The little girl says, "Republicans". Bush smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on. Three weeks later again taking a stroll, he sees the little girl again with the same basket. Bush says; "Watch this, it's very cute". They approach the little girl. Bush asks how the kittens are and she says fine. He then says, "What kind of kittens are they?" She replies, "Democrats." Somewhat abashed, Bush says, "Three weeks ago you said they were Republicans!" "I know," she says." But now their eyes are open".<\/p>\n \n\tSometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. \tOur enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. \n\tYou've done a nice job decorating the White House. \n\tIf I could only go through the ducts and leap out onstage in a cape – that's my dream. \n\tToo many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. \t Garrison Keillor apologizes to Republicans:<\/p>\n \t"Having been called names, one looks back at one's own angry outbursts over the years, and I recall having at various times referred to Republicans as 'hairy-backed swamp developers, fundamentalist bullies, freelance racists, hobby cops, sweatshop tycoons, line jumpers, marsupial moms and aluminum-siding salesmen, misanthropic frat boys, ninja ditto heads, shrieking midgets, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, pill pushers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists, the grand pooh-bahs of Percodan, mouth breathers, testosterone junkies and brownshirts in pinstripes'.<\/p>\n \t"I look at those words now, and 'cat stranglers' seems excessive to me. The number of cat stranglers in the ranks of the Republican Party is surely low, and that reference was hurtful to Republicans and to cat owners. I feel sheepish about it."<\/p>\n \t11<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" < President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education – anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda, and it's … Continue reading
\n\t – Jay Leno
\n\tThe Tonight Show
\n\t2003<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Fred Thompson
\n\tUS senator, lawyer, writer, and actor
\n\t(1942)<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Kin Hubbard<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Theodore Roosevelt
\n\tTwenty-sixth US president
\n\t(1858-1919)<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Mark Twain
\n\tauthor and humorist
\n\t(1835-1910)
\n\t<\/strong> <\/p>\n
\n\t – President George W. Bush<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Pop star Jessica Simpson,
\n\tupon being introduced to Interior Secretary
\n\tGale Norton while touring the White House<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – Ralph Nader,
\n\ton the presidential debates<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\t – President George W. Bush<\/strong><\/p>\n